Saturday, 9 November 2013

Experiences: The huntsman spider, the old Electrolux vacuum cleaner.. and me!

Killing Huntsmen spiders...

I had never seen a bloody huntsman spider until lI was in Melbourne in 1981.

So.. fast forward to 1984 and me and the ex bought an old worker's cottage in Albion. 

It had been renovated by a National Geographic Photographer in about 1974 and had a studio.


Anyhow.. we had been there about 3 or 4 weeks and the ex gets cerebral diarrhoea  and decides that it is time to set up happy home with a bloke she works with.

Don't  worry about the mortgage... Mark can pay that!

So.. I am now living by myself and discover the house is full of bloody huntsman spiders.

And they terrify me.

Around this time my elderly Aunty offers to give me her Electrolux vacuum cleaner... as mine has departed!

This thing is a pre WW2 model and has a metal body and bakelite end caps.

So.. when you see a huntsman.. you suck the little bastard up.

Trouble is you lie awake at night wondering if he is going to walk back along the tube out of the vacuum cleaner and come looking for you!

So.. the answer is this:

Suck the spider up and while the machine is running.. spray Moretein up the hose!


So Saturday Morning I am doing my washing and I spy a huntsman on the wall in the lounge.

Grab the old Electrolux... fire him up.. got you!

While the machine is running.. spray Mortein into the hose.

Big Mistake!

You see the machine is old.. the brushes on the motor are worn... and they arc when it runs.

Effect is I have my own jet engine going here.

The hydro carbons in the mortein ignite... the sound of the explosion is deafening and the resulting fireball blows the bakelite cap off the end of the vacuum cleaner and it describes a neat arc (cause it is still attached to the hose) and hits me on the forehead.

And the entire room is filled with a cloud of about a kilo of fine dust particles and dog hair suspended in the air.. and spider body parts too....

End result is the Electrolux is totalled, I have a gash on my head... and the inside of my open plan home is coated with shit.. every where.

Even the plates in the kitchen cupboards copped the fallout!

So.. vacuum cleaners are not the go for killing spiders. Cattle prod might explode them if you get them to sit still for long enough!

As as PS.. I should have followed this guys advice: